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OneLiner - NOTE: All new members please post!!

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You are in need of urgent loan? [04 Dec 2014|08:46pm]

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I'm here til Tuesday folks [29 Apr 2009|04:20pm]

[ mood | productive ]

I heard the stand-up comedian on the Titanic went down well with the audience.

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ok, here goes... [30 Nov 2008|10:38pm]

what's thick, sweet, brown, and always satisfies the ladies?

chocolate. ;)
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computers. [25 Nov 2008|06:03pm]

New here and since my computer is being a pain I thought I would post one of my favourite computer one-liners

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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Help! [08 Jun 2008|11:48pm]

Ok you lovely ladies and gentleman have ALWAYS helped me out before so I'm coming back to you again! I have played my ipod playlist to death and I REALLY need some new songs. I'd prefer them to be new but if theyre awesome I'd love to know them too. And any kind of music is ok, I love it all as long as it either has a good beat, has good meaning, or you can just totally rock out to and enjoy. So please comment with your playlists, songs, anything and I will love you forever ;) Thank you!
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Quote of the Day: Robyn Blumner column, Cols Disp., 10/04/07 [04 Oct 2007|12:44pm]

"So when Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig got caught ostensibly signaling for gay sex at a Minnesota airport,
his colleagues called for his resignation faster than you can say brokeback bathroom."
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LAX [27 Sep 2007|12:37am]

Are former Los Angeles Airport employees X-LAX?
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Better [12 Mar 2007|02:37pm]

I had some really bad diarrhea, but I've put that all behind me.
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[06 Feb 2007|01:10pm]


Forbidden fruits create many jams.

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[06 Feb 2007|01:08pm]


Don't Californicate Oregon!

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[14 Sep 2006|02:13pm]

Of all my relations, I like sex the best.
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[14 Sep 2006|02:29pm]

Confuscious say -

man with hole in pocket
feel cocky all day!
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[14 Sep 2006|02:24pm]

You've got a point there,but-
if you wear a hat noone will see it!
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Hi! I'm new,so - here goes... [14 Sep 2006|02:18pm]


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[07 Feb 2006|08:57pm]

My perfect match went up in flames.
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What is my fault here? [30 Jun 2005|03:40pm]

My girlfriend always complains, something like....ahh...I never pay attention to what she is saying..or something like that.
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[27 Jun 2005|09:40am]

I dont mix drinking and driving. I first drink...then drive.

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[22 Jun 2005|10:55am]


One time I was in a car coming back from six flags, and I said something very funny.
Somebody said what type of roads are there.
I said well there is a road called Vaigra road, The only problem is that it never turns it keeps going straight.
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How many undergraduates does it take to empty a keg of beer? [22 Jun 2005|12:00am]

[ mood | chipper ]

...the answer is about three. Tops. On a slow day...

Sadly, my undergraduate years are coming to an end, giving me a little time to be a little more "motherly" with the communities I spend so little time maintaining. So it's that time again to brush off the banners, try and whip up some enthusiasm and get some new members in!

Apart from the obvious application of this community - to post short jokes - I'm a little stumped as to what else can go on. One idea I had was a "you provide the punchline" meme. Someone posts the start of a joke, such as "How many European Ministers does it take to agree a treaty?" [Punchline - EU ministers? Agreeing to something? Non...] or "What do you get if you cross Tom Jones and a washing machine?" [Punchline - a crooner who cleans all the underwear thrown at him...]. Of course it helps if you don't have a particular punchline in mind, or if it's not too obvious. And nothing too crude. :-P

And after that, maybe a vote as to the best punchline?

To start us off:
What's the difference between President Bush and Elmer Fudd?

Be creative!

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[17 Jun 2005|03:14pm]

At age 4, success is . . . Not peeing your pants
At 12, success is . . . Having friends.
At 20, success is . . . Having sex.
At 35, success is . . . Making money
At 60, success is . . . Having sex.
At 70, success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80,success is . . . Not peeing your pants
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